Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Lessons from Lobo #5

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

 

Lobo snake bite 

As protective and fierce as Lobo could appear, sometimes he was a big baby.

He must have heard Thunder speak to him like a great god who came ripping over the mountain growling and barking with a voice big enough to send him under the dining room table or huddled behind my office desk. Our Tucson monsoons are convincing for sure, but no amount of reassuring made them easy for him.

Jon made a big mistake when Lobo was a scared puppy who refused to venture into our swimming pool: he threw him in. From then on, Lobo would run along the edge barking at the water we’d splash up at him. He’d wade onto the first step and lie down there at the end of a long, hot walk in the desert. But no amount of cajoling would convince him to go deeper. He never blamed Jon; the trauma had been inflicted by the Great Pool God, who had sucked him in and pushed him under. For some reason the Pool God did not scare humans, but that was probably due to their stupidity.

Unfortunately, one fear Lobo had to learn from experience was his fear of rattlesnakes. One day when Jon was fortunately home, he heard a yelp unlike any he’d heard before. Lobo came inside foaming at the mouth, and hid under the dining room table. Jon could see two fresh pinpoints of blood on his nose. Clearly, Lobo had gotten overconfident.

After a couple of phone consults with neighbors who had various home remedies, Jon called the animal emergency hospital. “Don’t give him any antihistamine. Don’t give him anything; just get him here,” they counseled. $1800 and two vials of antivenom later, I picked him up the following morning. In this case, weighing 120 lbs. had been an advantage.

We decided that just in case he hadn’t gotten the message (after all, he still chased coyotes, mother cows and the neighborhood hawk), we’d give him snake training. We met the snake trainer out in Oracle, where he parked his truck full of penned rattlesnakes he had de-fanged himself. We’re talking the wild west here.

First, he put one of those evil Collars on Lobo, so that he could shock him if he didn’t pass every snake test: sight, sound, and smell. He put a wriggler down and took Lobo on a leash nearby. He turned around and ran; it was a pass.

Then he put a rattler in a burlap bag and annoyed it somehow, so that it rattled. Lobo got it. (Anything to avoid that Collar!)

Finally, he hid the bagged snake underneath Jon’s truck and called Lobo, unleashed, over toward the truck. Lobo leaped into the truck’s open window. An A+.

After that, on summer evening walks, we’d have Lobo lead, which he always did anyway. If he veered off the path, we followed him. In addition to being an amateur cattle herder, a rabbit population control officer and a coyote wrangler, Lobo was now a certified snake guide. When we’d find one in the yard, Jon would use our long snake tongs to hoist it into a big bucket, and he and Lobo would drive it a few miles away to vacant land and give it a new home.

And Lobo wore his snake nose tattoo proudly, probably figuring it was a badge of courage. We never had the heart to tell him that we saved his life, probably for the second time.

Plane Shadow

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

plane shadowIn the fall my husband Jon and I flew our Cessna 182 from Tucson to Taos to visit friends who have a wonderful mountain cabin. On the way, we saw fall leaves coming to their peak, almost as quickly as time lapse photography on the Discovery Channel. By the end of the long weekend when we returned, spots of gold like this one had spread, and whole swatches of forest were brilliant gold and orange. Superimposed on it all, I would see a moving shadow of our little plane, projected onto the screen of nature.

Plato saw reality in a way similar to this, as I recall–shadows projected on the back of a cave, like a camera obscura. Is everything we are so attached to a moving set of illusions?

Part of the Flying Lessons process I teach is the notion of seeing that we can move our vantage point around, seeing ourselves and our lives from above when that is helpful, defying the gravity of events on the ground level.

Another flying lesson is about opening our hearts to the beauty and wonder of nature, and to the beauty and wonder of our inner words as well. After all, we are part of the creation, and when we see that we are full of gratitude and a sense of connection to the whole web of life. The stories that fill the “middle world” which we usually inhabit are like this shadow of a small vehicle moving across the canvass of nature.

The key here is that we can observe all this. We are the first species that is conscious of ourselves. We have choices no part of creation has had before. What will we do with this awareness?  Where will we travel on our journeys? What will our relationship be to the planet? What will our exclamations be as we observe our interaction with the planet; will they be utterances of wonder or cynicism? Small views or large? How curious are we to see what the extent is of our powers? How will we use them?

Or is the plane shadow just a “plain shadow,” just an illusion, just a passing image that no one saw anyhow?

What do you think? If, like me, you are a “philoser,” as I used to call myself when I was a child, and you too are sipping from a pot of tea, drop in and share your observations.

Letting the love soak in

Friday, March 5th, 2010

21.09Sand Spirit Insight card #21

I love this card. Sometimes I see a parental figure whose head is the peachy-apricot color, just radiating love on to the smaller one being held. Other times I see the higher Self holding the smaller self, and the smaller self feeling so good, so protected, so seen and so loved. Today it’s all of that: the soul within me holding me, loving me and me remembering that soul IS me, and so the two become one. Ahhh, it feels so good.

Sometimes it isn’t that we don’t think we are loved or protected. Maybe we believe in God loving us, or angels or guides who protect and care about us. But belief is in our heads. What is it that allows us to actually experience love? To receive it into every cell of our being?

What are your experiences of being able to open up in this way? Was it a result of meditation? A relationship? A teacher’s inspiration? Or was it mystery and grace?

For me, it has been all of them. And since I am a seeker of love, as I’ll bet you are, I collect these experiences. After enough of them collect within me, a tipping point is reached, and suddenly I no longer believe. I experience. And real life begins again.

Sand Spirit #18

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

18.09Often I pick a Sand Spirit Insight card at random, trusting that I know which one will tell me what I need to remember for the day.

This is an image I’ve always loved. I see a woman with a heart-shaped face, wearing flowing robes and bedecked with ceremonial scarves and decorations. Her body looks relaxed and she is walking forward gracefully, her right hand over her belly.

This woman is full of love and grace, and she is very earthy.  She loves her body and loves and cares for herself in the best sense.  She has a sense of humor and loves pleasure. All who come across her feel better just for being in her presence.  I feel better just drawing the card with her image on it.

This Sand Spirit has come to remind me that we all–men or women–have this juicy, beautiful, fun and holy feminine energy within us. I think today my message is to bring her out and let her show, let her walk in the world. That ought to make today a magical day.

What do you see in this card? What does the form or figure that pops out for you have to say? And how do you respond?

5 Things a Dog Can Teach You

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

LoboI just finished reading (or hearing an audiobook) Merle’s Door by Ted Kerasote, and it has me blubbering over the rich, mysterious and growing relationship I have with my dog Lobo.

Like Kerasote’s dog Merle, Lobo has a language all his own. He is bonded first and foremost to my husband Jon, but I’m a close second. I knew he was coming before I saw him, since I had a strange prophetic dream in which I saw his face and heard a voice saying his name was Lobo and that he would be my dog. I was pretty startled and then forgot about the dream until a neighbor brought a rescue dog over to meet us. The name on his tag was Kenai, but I recognized him as Lobo. Since that day, over 5 years ago, Lobo has taught us many things. Here are 5 that I think any of us who have dogs have experienced:

1. Dogs offer us the experience of unconditional love. They give it and they invite us to return it. They often serve as a contrast to the way we usually operate–thus the successful bumper sticker reading, “Let me be the person my dog believes me to be.”

2. Dogs teach us about non-verbal communication. Sure they bark and moan and growl, and Lobo even howls. But we learn more from watching him communicate his reactions just with body language. Ears go back and tail lowers:”Oh, do we have to put that collar on?”

3. Dogs remind us to come to our senses. On a literal level, they remind us to listen, to look and to smell. To relish being petted and stroked and cuddled. And that is often what we need when we’re thinking too much.

4.  Dogs teach us about being in the moment. I do believe Lobo has memory and also can move into the future, as he does when he sees us packing for a trip or loading the truck. But he can move from sad to happy as quickly as one moment morphs into another.

5.  Dogs teach us about forgiveness. We’ve let Lobo down hundreds of times. Every time we leave could be seen as a betrayal. And he doesn’t like scolding. It’s true that he is suspicious of men wearing baseball caps holding objects over their heads. But nothing is personal; he forgives all.

In my strange prophetic dream, the voice said Lobo would be my teacher, and that has surely come true. Right now he is lying on his outdoor bed on the driveway, guarding his estate.  And who knows? Maybe even from a distance, he can feel my gratitude.

What stories do you have about dogs as teachers? Healers?

A Twelve-Step Program to Break the Trance

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

When I was preparing to teach a seminar on Nourishing our Sense of Self, of course I wanted to feel my own Self in all her magnificence! I wanted to feel radiant, enlightened, and certain of what to offer.  Instead I was filled with an unnamed and unwelcome sadness, an emptiness, a not knowing, a forgetting, and a disorientation.

On a meditative walk, I asked for guidance.  I heard, “These are signs of an under-nourished Self or soul.”

I thought, “Oh, great.  I’m failing at the subject I’m about to teach.” And so I asked my elusive Self, “So what do I do?  How do I nourish you?”

What unfolded over the next two days was a process or practice for reconnecting with and nourishing the Self, or Essence.

Think of what is challenging you as you read this process. Bringing a challenging issue with you is a good way to see how the practice works.

First, I realized that I was stuck in an old addictive way of thinking. I was pulled into listening the ego, the mask or protection we have carefully built to protect the Self.

When the Great Forgetting occurs during the course of growing up and relating more and more to the outer world, we fall into the addictive pull of believing that the ego or mask is the self. I needed a process for breaking this addiction, for returning to my Essence.

I hope you find it helpful—and I would love to hear your comments!

The Self_opt

The Twelve-Step Program for Breaking the Addiction to Ego

and Nourishing the Self

1.  REMEMBER.

Just remembering the there is a Self of Essence within, and knowing that we have become disconnected is a powerful act in itself. Nothing more can happen until this remembering occurs.

2. CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

The ego works through the mind, and the mind chatters, nags and sometimes screams through “headphones” we wear when we are tuned into what author Annie Lamott calls “Station KFUK.” As humans, we have the unique ability to change the channel and go within and simply listen.

3. ASK FOR HELP.

Whatever your idea or language is for a higher power, ask for help from the universe. You are not alone, and thinking that you are is an unnecessary form of suffering.

4. SET AN INTENTION.

Tell your higher power or angels, guides, ancestors, saints or nature spirits what you’d like to co-create with their help. Focus on an experience like love, peace, inspiration or abundance rather than a specific outcome. Include your willingness to show up and do your part to create this experience, but don’t dictate how.

5.  CENTER AND GROUND.

You need to be fully on the earth and standing on your own two feet, so picture them sprouting roots that go all the way to the center of the earth. Feel the energy of your first chakra building, filling you with a sense of safety, security and belonging.

6.  PLUG INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC POWER.

Breathe into your second chakra in your belly.  Imagine a golden cord attached there that moves down into the earth to the center.  Picture the spirit of the Mother, the Divine Feminine at the center of the earth, filling a basket of her power for you and sending it up the cord to your belly. This is the power that births babies, seeds and stars.

7. EXPERIENCE YOUR TRUE SELF.

Breathe into the third chakra at your solar plexus and imagine your Essence or true Self taking a form that reflects the beauty of your soul-force living here. What does s(he) look and feel like? What are her powers? Her standards? How does she speak to you? Take time to meditate and feel this experience.

8. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SMALL ONE WITHIN.

Return to the issue that has been challenging you and to the feeling of powerlessness or fear you’ve had around the issue. When you are “in” this energy, how old do you feel? Acknowledge that there is a smaller you inside that needs compassion and help.

9. ASK THE TRUE SELF TO TAKE CHARGE.

Put her or him in the pilot’s seat. Embody her. Explain to the small one within that you are not abandoning her. She does not need to handle this issue; you will be in charge.  Feel your being fill with essence and notice what happens in your body and mind.

10. SEE YOUR WORLD THROUGH THE LENS OF ESSENCE.

Look at your world and the issue you brought with you through the lens of essence, soul or true self. Any change in perception?  Miracles can happen just because of shifts in perception. What is true now?

11. ASK FOR THE NEXT STEP.

When we are embodying Essence, we don’t need to be able to see control everything.  When we have returned to a place of faith and grace, all we need is a flashlight, not a searchlight.  We are pioneers out in uncharted territory, so all we need to know is where to put our foot next. You know your next step.

12. LOCK IN AND LET GO.

Lock in means asking your True Self to give you a physical sign that will wake you up if you forget again and go into a trance. The twitch in the stomach or pain in the neck will lock in the mechanism for remembering and returning to Essence.

Now, just let go. Let it all go, expressing your gratitude.

So, how did that work for you?  I welcome your comments!

Teeter totter

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Ever been on a seesaw? I’m not just talking about when you were little. How about in a relationship where one minute you’re up and the next you’re oh-so-down? How about in our economy where a couple of years ago you were way up there on Easy Street and now you’re wondering if you could end up down on Skid Row?

Every spiritual tradition teaches that when we can give up our attachment to these conditions, these poles of up and down, we are freed and enlightened. Easy for “them” to say when you’re on the seesaw! How do you do it?

Today it occurred to me (dizzy from the descent from up to down) that the only way to find stability on a seesaw is to go toward center. The center is the fulcrum, the support, the still point. It must be sturdy and securely positioned in the earth for the seesaw to be safe. It is what needs to be maintained first.

How do you maintain the center support? Well, for one thing, you have to just pay attention to it. I forget sometimes to just ask how my center support is and whether it needs maintenance.

Then I ask myself what kind of maintenance it needs. One day it might be meditation. At other times a walk on the earth works best. For me, solitude is essential. Yet there are those days when there’s nothing like a good friend to reminds you you’re not crazy. Finding my sense of humor is always a relief. Spiritual practices are meant for maintaining the center.

So when you’re up, that’s great—and we know that we will eventually come down. And, being down is also a temporary state. Being human, it seems we are a seesaw and are influenced to a degree by the changing “weather” outside us.

And, we are the center. We are the fulcrum, the still point. We are the essence and we are connected to the earth.

When we find our center, we can tolerate ups and downs and keep our balance. At least we can as long as we keep the part of us alive that is forever the child—and remember that this journey is really play.

Maggie