Archive for the ‘self-healing’ Category
Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
Last weekend I surprised myself by getting scared on a routine flight with my husband in our Cessna 182. He had purchased a new gadget to increase our safety and he needed to test it. That meant I would be the co-pilot and observer, looking for traffic while he did some maneuvers.
Truthfully, I didn’t want to go in the first place. I knew when I asked him what maneuvers he’d be doing.
“Just some stalls,” he answered.
Stalls. The S-word. Especially accelerated stalls, my nemesis.
To practice a stall, you fly along and raise the nose higher and higher, ignoring the stall horn, which sounds when you’re about to force the airplane to stop flying. You keep raising the nose and then you can feel it fall, feel the airplane stop having lift. It’s not very comfortable.
Accelerated stalls are more uncomfortable than power-off stalls, because you’re going faster and the plane’s reaction is faster and more intense. My terror in flight training was not recovering fast enough and entering a spin.
Now, I trust my husband Jon as a pilot with every fiber of my being. An ex-Marine F-4 pilot who flew over 230 missions, he is fully capable of all these maneuvers, probably with his eyes closed.
But. It’s been 11 years since I had to do these stalls myself, and never have I had to sit in the right seat and be the passenger while he does them. So I didn’t like it. My stomach was rising to my throat and I felt light-headed and sensed a big lump forming in my throat.
“I’m not doing well,” I said. An understatement.
“It’s just a stall. Just breathe and get into it. You’ve done these a hundred times.”
“Not as a passenger,” I retorted, probably a little too sharply. He must have looked at my face, which had no blood in it, because he stopped.
There was no talking me out of it, because the fear reaction had already cascaded through my body. Adrenalin. Tension. No resuming a confident air at this point.
I tried my litany of techniques. “I’m just feeling fear,” I told myself silently. “I am not fear; I just have fear right now. I am the witness, the one observing myself having fear.” I shooed the fear energy away, asked it to return to earth.
My body didn’t buy this at all. It wanted to go home and take a nap. It wanted relaxation. It wanted oxytocin.
Oxytocin is the chemical we love to feel when we orgasm, or when we feel any other kind of intense pleasure. We can invite oxytocin instead of adrenaline by doing what Ellie Drake of Braveheart Women calls an “oxytocin breath.”
Right now, take in a big breath and feel it all the way down into your abdomen, which should rise. Now as you let it out, sigh your exhale out loud. Feel your body “let down,” releasing tension.
This is an important notion for me as a two-time cancer survivor. I believe the story Anita Moorjani tells in her book, Dying to Be Me. Her wondrous healing from a near-death experience taught her that fear not only stops us from performing; it can cause cancer. Or at least create the environment that allows cancer.
My advanced flying lesson was probably related to what I wrote about in Lesson #7, “Give Way to the Winds.” To recover from a stall in an airplane, you do what is counter-intuitive: you release pressure on the controls, even though your impulse is to keep pulling back, since you want badly to go UP.
To recover from a stall in life, you do the same. You release pressure.
I had to risk disappointing my husband, appearing to be wimp, or suggesting to my critical self that I no longer had any piloting skills. I chose oxytocin.
“If we’ve done enough maneuvers,” I said to Jon, I’d like to go back now.” As I breathed my oxytocin breaths and took care of the “little Pam within,” the one who had regressed to the pressure of flight training a dozen years ago, Jon suggested I cure my ills by flying us home.
Dear Jon. Getting back on the horse is a man’s method. That would produce more adrenalin. I choose to give way to the winds. I choose oxytocin. I need the feminine way. And so, I believe, does the world.
It doesn’t mean I won’t go flying again, or that I won’t ever be the observer when he does a stall. It just means I choose to allow my body to recover now, instead of pushing.
By the way, he’s forgiven me. It took me almost an hour to return to a relaxed happy state, and I think I was a lot nicer after that.
(Want more “flying lessons?” Order the book at FlyingLessonsForLife.com)
Tags: Anita Moorjani, Braveheart Women, consciousness, Dying to Be Me, Ellie Drake, Flying, Flying Lessons: How to Be the Pilot of Your Own Life, oxytocin, stalls
Posted in aviation, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, creativity and empowerment, Flying, healing, health, loving ourselves, nourishing ourselves, Photography, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves, women's empowerment | 12 Comments »
Sunday, March 18th, 2012
I remember flying along this gorgeous coastline in Baja, Mexico, with my husband Jon. It was before I got my pilot’s license, and so when he urged me to stop photographing and take the controls, I got instant butterflies. 95% of me wanted to fly, but the 5% that was terrified had the capability of ruining everything.
This makes me think of the beginning of my career, when I was a classroom teacher worried about maintaining discipline. Even on days when I had 95% of the class involved and focused, I was always afraid of that 5% that might take those controls away from me.
If “flying” is a metaphor for the 95% of us that knows how to break free of gravity and soar, we still have to learn to deal with the 5% that suspects we might crash at any moment. I call this “communicating with the controllers,” which is Lesson 5 in my book, Flying Lessons.
The challenge of this lesson is dealing with negative feedback. That might include the kind of inner voice I heard when my husband urged me to take the controls and I was afraid I couldn’t do it. Or, it might be outer feedback, like the kind I would get from disruptive students.
I would submit that our reaction to both kinds is fear: fear of the fear we feel, or fear that we will not be able to stay in control. Or fear that we were incapable all along; thinking we were was just a lie. And fear can hijack a good intent, a calm mind, an open heart and a good experience.
The lesson I learned from Clio, my flight instructor, was about discernment. Which voices are telling the truth that will keep you safe and set you free? And where is your true voice, which you need to use when standing up for yourself is the answer.
Here’s a summary of Clio’s advice:
1. Be kind. The 5% may be afraid. Fear can make them (whether they are outer or inner voices) say terrible things. Take that into consideration.
2. Be fair. Remember, they are the 5%. Are you listening to the 95%, or are they just invisible, their hands folded politely on their desks, their voices muffled behind their modest smiles…What if you asked them to raise their voices in song?
3. Ask for help. Ask your partner, your friend, your angels, your guides, your God, whomever you trust the most for help. For listening. For caring. For hugs. For company. The 95% of the controllers are trying to help you survive.
4. Keep the whole journey in mind. Remember, it’s this part that is hard. The big picture journey probably has a much more beautiful arc to it.
5. Remember, everything is relative. You sometimes think the world is coming to an end. When yours looks like that, so does the larger one. Still, there are those other times when all is glowing, when the leaves of every tree are on fire with sunlight, and when the moon is huge and white and all-knowing. When life is holy. When you are perfect, just as you are.
Tags: consciousness, Flying, Flying metaphor, inner peace, living today, managing fear, perception, Photography, Self, spiritual practice, ups and downs
Posted in aviation, bringing out your gifts, children as teachers, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, creativity and empowerment, Flying, happiness, healing, loving ourselves, nature as mirror, nourishing ourselves, Photography, seeing oneself, self image, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves | 2 Comments »
Sunday, February 26th, 2012
“The soul-bird is waiting inside. Even if you have locked it in a cage, it is waiting to fly.”
from Flying Lesson #4
Lesson #4 contains a key moment, when you as a participant in the story, or the coaching or the retreat process, realize that there is indeed a soul-bird inside you who is longing to fly, and who was born to fly and knows how.
Next you realize that as a normal human, you have protected this soul-bird by building a cage around it, and have spent a lot of life strengthening and polishing the cage. At some point you may have forgotten that you actually ARE the soul-bird. You may have forgotten to the degree that you thought you were the cage.
But, no blame. This was just a mistake, not anything unchangeable. You’re right on time. It was just part of your development to concentrate on the cage. Now you are called to do and be something different.
Here’s the good news: Since you constructed the cage, you are the one who can open the door.
Now is the moment of choice.
Can you trust that little soul-bird to do what it came here to do? What adventure will it embark on when it spreads its wings?
This is what you’ve longed to do and be.
Open the door.
Tags: consciousness, Flying, Flying metaphor, Nature and the soul, perception, Photography, soul
Posted in aviation, Being, bringing out your gifts, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, creative imagination, creativity and empowerment, Flying, Guided imagery, loving ourselves, new life, nourishing ourselves, Photography, returning to essence, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, Tools for seeing ourselves, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
Sometimes I cringe when I meet someone who asks me what I do. Answering either “life coach” or certainly “energy medicine practitioner” or for sure, “shamanic practitioner” can lead to immediate Eyes Glazing Over Syndrome.
Sometimes I do better when I tell a client story, but the best approach is asking questions. Like, “Have you ever had the feeling that something is missing in your life, even if you’ve read a lot of books, had therapy or tried meditating?” (At this point, I am checking for “Woo Woo, Checking Out Now Syndrome.)
But I persist. “Do you ever feel confused about your purpose? Or feel that your passion for your life has gone flat?”
Even though such complaints are vague, most of us have experienced them. Someone who says “Absolutely not” would probably not want life coaching or any personal development enrichment.
In reality, we have all experienced feelings that some might call burnout, and others might describe as being out of balance. Even someone who has never quite found that path, that center, usually can recognize these symptoms. The vocabulary isn’t important. And so…what?
I would call the feeling of being in our center, on our path, feeling passion and purpose “the pilot’s seat.” And I would say that the one who has taken the pilot’s seat in such moments must be the essential self. The one who is all about our life force, or soul.
Sometimes the essential self manages to take the pilot’s seat “by accident,” or really without our effort. In those moments we might call grace, we simply know and we simply are.
When you’ve been there, it’s painful to be dislodged from the pilot’s seat, or to have it commandeered by sub-personalities, or by the ego, who is not well-connected to essence.
Sometimes just the awareness of being off-center is enough to correct the situation. Other times, we need help. We need tools. Here are some to consider:
- Deep talk, soul sharing with a friend or advisor who listens well
- Traveling into invisible realms for guidance, through meditation, prayer, dreams or shamanic journeying—or my Sand Spirits Insight Cards!
- Any breathwork or meditation system that leads you back into your heart
- Asking the Great Mystery for help
- Work with changing old beliefs and releasing old patterns
If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to call me for a complementary phone consultation. Or if this has helped you remember your own tools, please add your comment!
Tags: Being, centering, centering techniques, consciousness, Essence, Flying, Flying metaphor, inner landscape, living today, managing change, meditation, perception, Photography, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, spiritual practice
Posted in bringing out your gifts, centering techniques, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, Dreams, Flying, happiness, healing, Imagination, inner landscape, meditation, mindfulness, Photography, returning to essence, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves | No Comments »
Thursday, January 12th, 2012
The world needs your genius. You have genius, you know. Every one of us does. Your genius is your “original medicine,” as Angeles Arrien put it. It is unique medicine. So if you keep it from the world, the world will never see it again.
Taking the pilot’s seat means bringing out your genius. It means remembering what Marianne Williamson reminded the world about our greatest fear: that we are really great. Playing small, she reminded us, serves no one.
When we ask the biggest part of us—the oldest, most essential, wisest part of us—to be pilot of our lives, we invite our genius to be seen and to be at work in our lives.
It’s strange, isn’t it, that this invitation seems to require courage from us. How could raising the level of our performance and bringing out our greatness be a fearsome thing? Who is it who says it’s scary?
I think it is the child within, the egoic one who is afraid of being exposed, afraid of attack, afraid of shame, failure, and afraid its worse suspicions about our real nature will be proven right. But what does the one within you who is capable of observing this voice say about those arguments?
My larger voice—my essential self—says they are illusions. She says they are the energy of fear incarnate. And not the kind of fear that serves as a valid warning. The kind of fear that cripples.
And so, if there is an inner wrestling match about who should climb into the pilot’s seat and run our lives, how do we deal with this small, fearful one who would sabotage our authentic power? I think we just name her. And then recognize her need for comfort. Hold her as we would any child. Let her know this is not her decision. Let her know we will not leave her behind.
And then, as therapist Terry Real says, peel her sticky fingers off the flight controls, move her over to the passenger seat, and climb in and begin flying.
There’s no time to do otherwise. The world needs your essential self right now.
Tags: consciousness, Essence, Flying, Flying metaphor, perception, Photography
Posted in authenticity, aviation, Being, bringing out your gifts, calling, conscious evolution, consciousness, creativity and empowerment, Flying, inner landscape, loving ourselves, Photography, returning to essence, seeing oneself, self image, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, Tools for seeing ourselves, women's empowerment | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
When I walk on the beautiful land in the Sutherland Valley, beneath the Catalina Mountains, the land reminds me that Mother Earth has a heartbeat, a rhythm. Being in nature attunes my body to her rhythm and reminds me of my own natural pace. So does meditation—it is a way of stopping to check in with the Source, and with my own body/mind, and re-calibrating.
I need to change my “attitude,”—an aviation term for the angle of the airplane– to pull the nose of my airplane up a bit and slow my speed.
When I think of the idea of slowing my pace, my “small mind” immediately panics at the thought. What will I miss? What will I not accomplish?
Fortunately my “larger mind” responds by asking, “Where are you going so fast? What is your destination or goal that is so crucial? Isn’t the journey the point?”
My small mind says nothing.
I remember Thich Nhat Hahn’s cautions about our pace, his advice about mindful walking and mindful eating and avoiding multi-tasking.
My small mind points out how many things I accomplish by multi-tasking. Is that really true? Recent research points out that our brains don’t operate at maximum efficiency when we do more than one thing at a time. Maybe we are sacrificing focus, intensity and depth of thought, excellence in problem-solving.
Perhaps I suffer from the aviator’s dreaded plague, “get-there-itis,” the disease that leads to unwise decisions like flying too late, or into bad weather, or when sick, or in conditions outside our expertise. If we crash, we might ask ourselves what was so important about that destination and how much time we really saved.
If I take time to gaze out the window, perhaps I’ll really see something like the scene in the photo of the water and cloud formations along the Sea of Cortez. What’s the hurry, really?
These are thoughts each of us must bring to consciousness as we pilot our way through a year that may challenge us to drop old patterns, to take responsibility for our own energy, to ask treasured family and friends to support us as responsible pilots who have taken the left seat. We may not be able to manage the strong winds of life, but we can manage ourselves.
What are your thoughts? Interact with us at Facebook.com/FlyingLessons!
Tags: Being, consciousness, Flying, Flying metaphor, inner peace, living today, managing change, meditation, musings, Nature and the soul, new life, own pace, Photography, spiritual practice, The Beauty Way
Posted in aviation, Being, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, Flying, happiness, healing, health, inner landscape, loving ourselves, managing change, meditation, mindfulness, new life, not doing, nourishing ourselves, Photography, returning to essence, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, The Beauty Path, Tools for seeing ourselves | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 13th, 2011
Just because you are reading this, I think you deserve congratulations for taking the time to read something just for you! No matter what your holiday traditions, this is a busy time!
Which is why I ended up reading my own Flying Lesson #2 over again. It’s Bring Enough Fuel for the Journey. Here are some excerpts and thoughts that struck me all over again as good advice for the season:
It’s food for thought that even though there’s no excuse for running out of fuel in the aviation world, we consider running on empty a normal part of our culture. In some circles there’s even a sort of nobility attached to being such a hard worker that everyone knows you never sleep. Even when people refer to someone as being a workaholic, rarely do they shake their heads in sadness or suggest a good treatment center. In many cases, overworking and overdoing is considered the means to success.
But when we have the ambition to fly, to rise above the gravity of our current situation, self-care becomes a crucial function. If we are going to push the envelope and move into a lofty territory where humans have only dreamed of operating we’ll have to pay attention to everything we’re doing and be conscious.
Being conscious is what piloting our lives is all about. And the proof of the pudding (especially the Christmas pudding) is how well we manage our own energy.
Have you ever stopped in the midst of rushing around to listen to a small voice saying something like, “What AM I DOING?”
This is the same voice who might ask other wise questions, like:
- How about a 15-20 minute power nap?
- What if I just took a hot bath instead of…
- Is the food I’m about to eat truly my premium fuel?
- What if I went to bed at 9 tonight?
- Do I really want to go to that party?
- Is this conversation nourishing me?
Never running out of fuel is about taking 100% responsibility for not burning out, not depleting yourself, and for knowing and cultivating the kinds of premium fuel that truly give you energy. Who else will do this for you?
Hmmm, maybe Santa. On the other hand, why not put this present right in the center of your being this minute:
Peace.
Joy.
Freedom to manage your own energy.
May you find the generous heart within that wants to give you these gifts this season.
In love and light,
Pam
Tags: consciousness, Flying, Flying metaphor, holidays, inner landscape, inner peace, living today, managing change, managing energy, managing stress, musings, new life, perception, Photography, spiritual practice, The Beauty Way, winter
Posted in aviation, conscious evolution, consciousness, creativity and empowerment, Flying, health, inner landscape, loving ourselves, new life, nourishing ourselves, Photography, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves | No Comments »
Monday, December 5th, 2011
How do we pace ourselves during this holiday season so that we can “fly” through busy schedules, family relationships, celebrations and sometimes travel? After all, the body doesn’t know the difference between “good” and “bad” stress. What it does note is an imbalance.
To fly a plane, a pilot has to master the controls of four forces of flight that act on the airplane: thrust, drag, lift and gravity. The engine can provide the thrust, and power also provides lift. But we don’t want to overdo it, either in the air or on our holiday rounds.
If it’s all thrust, we’ll burn out our fuel and be too speedy to be in control. If we let drag take over, we won’t have the speed we need to fly. Lift is wonderful, but getting too “high” isn’t always wise. Gravity, on the other hand, can bring a body down too quickly, whether it’s made of metal or flesh.
Piloting is the art and science of managing our energy so that our vehicle–whether it has wings or not–can operate with the most ease and efficiency possible. After all, that’s what it was made to do.
Here are some tips for managing your energy so you can soar through this season:
1. Use your mental “dipstick” to mentally measure the energy you have every day, on a scale of 1-10.
2. Decide what your personal minimum should be.
3. How and when will you pause to re-fuel? Schedule breaks.
4. What is your premium fuel? Is it solitude? Prayer? Family? Nature? What have you learned about this?
5. Discipline yourself. Does that seem dreary? It won’t if it means you get through the holidays with your well-being and cheer intact.
6. Joy is the key word for this time of year, but sometimes it’s hard to come by. Track your joy. Pursue it. Treasure it. Give it. It’s good for you!
Tags: consciousness, Flying, Flying metaphor, living today, managing change, perception, Photography, spiritual practice, winter
Posted in aviation, coaching, conscious evolution, consciousness, Flying, happiness, healing, health, nourishing ourselves, Photography, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Wednesday, October 5th, 2011
I walk along the Pacific coast of the Baja peninsula. The stones at my feet are thrown across the sand like a random galaxy, and I connect their dots, picking out constellations. As the tide encroaches, waves wash up stones and other objects. Suddenly, I have company—a mystical sand woman! Her head is a glowing coral stone that seems to contain her facial features. Streaks of iron filings paint an aura around her head and give her a clear neck, shoulders and gown. She silently declares to me that she is a sand spirit, a form here for a fleeting moment.
I photograph these forms for four days, not touching anything. Back at home, I am delighted with the images, but still have no idea what I’m going to do with them. Two weeks later, I go in for a routine mammogram and am diagnosed with breast cancer. The rest of the story is about how the Sand Spirits become part of my healing journey and eventually part of others’ journeys as well.
I invite you to explore using the Sand Spirits in your own personal life, to activate the ocean of wisdom inside you! They will help you find your purpose and passion, help solve practical problems, facilitate deeper communication and bring out the healer within.
On Saturday, October 8, you can set aside 6 hours just for you and give yourself the gift of working with a tool that will show you how to move ahead in any area of your life and evolution. For information and to register, copy and paste this link into your browser: http://tinyurl.com/sandspirits.
Tags: beauty, consciousness, creative imagination, Essence, inner landscape, inner peace, living today, musings, Nature and the soul, perception, Photography, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, spiritual practice, The Beauty Way
Posted in authenticity, bringing out your gifts, consciousness, creative imagination, Creativity, creativity and empowerment, Guided imagery, happiness, healing, health, Imagination, inner landscape, nature as mirror, nourishing ourselves, Photography, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, seeing oneself, self image, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, Tools for seeing ourselves | No Comments »
Monday, September 26th, 2011
My friend and assistant Cynthia Wheeler was in Encinitas CA with me this week, enjoying a respite from the Tucson heat and enjoying the beach. The other morning she came back from a walk breathless with excitement.
“I met a young woman on the beach, “ she said, “who saw me taking pictures of the sand spirits I found in the sand, and offered to take a picture of me using my camera. I thanked her and asked her if she had ever seen the sand spirits on the beach. She looked puzzled, and so I showed her one.
‘See this figure on the sand? ‘ I pointed. ‘If this stone were its head, see how the streaks in the sand look like a robe, and these streaks around the shoulders…’
‘Oh! It looks like an angel!’ She was excited. ‘I needed this today!’
‘And so I told her,’ Cynthia went on, ‘that if she asked her angel—her sand spirit—something, she would hear an answer.’
‘I will?’ Her eyes widened. And so I assured her that if she listened with her whole being, of course she would. And, I suggested she google Sand Spirits and find the Insight Cards and even join us on the free webinar. She said she was going to go right home and do that!’”
Cynthia is so generous by nature that I wasn’t surprised that she had struck up this touching conversation with a stranger. What did surprise me was the reminder that even people who walk on the beach all the time may never have seen the figures nature has created there. I often hear people say, “I’ll never see a beach the same way again.” And I think that is a lot.
If we begin to see even one thing in a new way, our whole life can change in that instant.
May something appear to you in a whole new way today!
Pam
P.S. Join us on our free webinar Thursday at 4PST! It will be recorded, so be sure to sign up even if you can’t attend.(Sorry–you’ll have to copy and paste this long url into your browser! http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e4u7zku02c910453&llr=bvhm8ccab
P.P.S. Go to Facebook.com/PamelaHale9 to see the photos of sand spirits I found this week in Encinitas!
Tags: beauty, consciousness, creative imagination, inner landscape, inner peace, living today, musings, Nature and the soul, perception, Photography, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, spiritual practice, The Beauty Way
Posted in consciousness, creative imagination, Creativity, creativity and empowerment, Guided imagery, happiness, healing, Imagination, inner landscape, nature as mirror, Photography, Sand Spirit Insight Cards, seeing oneself, self-healing, shifting how we see, shifting paradigms, spiritual practices, The Beauty Path, Tools for seeing ourselves | No Comments »
